Writing Therapy

For everyone, therapy can take different forms: it can be as simple as going to the shrink or the psychologist, drawing, knitting; for me, it just happens to be writing.
It makes me feel well, I guess. Everything that is somewhat wrong with me seems to dissapear,  even if it´s for just a couple of minutes.
If it helps me feel better, then I´m all for it. The way it works seems to be very simple, and yet somehow, it becomes difficult sometimes when I´m feeling down, and many horrible things come to mind, and then I feel like writing about what happens while I´m watching movies or series and I feel like I can relate.
It is therapy because my brain seems to clear and I can dream of better things to come, of the possibility of having a man in my life that will make me feel fine, and we´ll  have kids together and I will feel like I´ve made something of myself.
I know what things I´ve done that have completely changed my life, especially the good ones pop up right in there, in here, in this moment. But when I´m feeling bad it´s hard to remember what those good things were. And the fact is that they really matter to me and have made a real change: you know, the first time that I wrote a poem and I got fifth place, or when I wrote a story for a centennial celebration, or when I finished my magister or handed in  my first draft for my thesis and my first chapter of my thesis, and I felt great. GREAT! Like feeling alive for the first time.
And I also remember the other things that matter in my life: my friend Susana, and most especially, my brother and my sister-in-law,  and some other people I can really count on and I can get up and start trying things again.
No matter what, I know it´s something to hold on to. Something that tells me that things will work out for me in the end; it´s that bit of hope that is buried deep within me and that comes out when I needed it the most and for one minute things seems to be okay, and I can fly above the sky and jump over fluffy clouds and the rainbow seems brighter than ever before. I can see the waterfalls and its tiny little drops of water falling softly in my head and I can feel like laughing again. It´s the writer in me that seems to bloom and before I know it, I´ve written so much that I don´t believe I had all those feelings in my head, all those thoughts and I feel like sharing it with someone, even if it´s in this space, because when I write I feel more powerful than ever before and I love it, love it so much that I want to be there to enjoy it.
I love to write just as much as I love to cook and try new recipes and cross-stitch and make puzzles but I believe that it´s the only thing I can do no matter how I feel, it always seems to relax me, to make me feel like I belong in this world, that I have better things to offer than most people can see, that gives me hope to find that man out there, that I know is waiting for me somewhere in this world and feel free.
Don´t know what I would do without my writing, because I can always find something to write about, from the movies I've seen to the places I´ve been to how I feel and just keep going and going and going... kind of like those ads where the toy has the battery that keeps going while the other ones just drop because they can´t last enough.